After checking out what’s trending online, it seems like the biggest thing going on right now is Bruce Jenner transitioning to a woman. Now it turns out that they are canceling Keeping up with the Kardashians and will instead give Bruce Jenner his own reality show.
The only episode I ever saw of said Kardashian show was when they got a financial advisor to have an intervention with Kim Kardashian because of her spending habits. She wasn’t having any of it but Bruce told her something like, “you have money now, but it’s not always going to be the case… what are you going to do when the checks stop coming in?”
Damn good advice Bruce and thanks for the intervention. For that you get a pawsome gif animation I found on Tumblr:
Most would agree and LoL Cat Research also agrees, that coming out is the way to go. You don’t want to be a closet cat. That leads to anxiety and depression that can lead to much, much worse. But what people don’t talk about enough is what to do AFTER you come out. If you want to crossdress, wear something nice. Don’t be one of those whack transitional cats in a paper bag or a potato sack. I’ll stop rhyming now… peace. (=^‥^)/
Oh and by the way, you can save cats on death row by buying a tee shirt right here.
Yesterday brought me a nice spike in traffic to my website based on the fact that my meme pics matched popular searches and my pics were watermarked with my URL. Katy Perry, the megastar who performed at the last Super Bowl halftime show, had decided that if you can’t beat em’ you should join em’… What I mean is that the pop idol had been acting a bit odd since a dancer in her crew wearing a shark suit got way more attention than she did. So why does this matter? Here’s why:
#LeftShark = vehicle for you driving traffic with meme pics
I made a meme pic and a demotivational poster (see right) and it brought me quite a bit of traffic just after the Super Bowl ended. #Pawsome !!!
I’ll take traffic however I can get it. Memes take a long time at first, but I can bust them out in less than 10 minutes and bang! Instant original content is created (Cheezburger.com has the best creator for memes. It’s super, super easy to use). Make sure you name the image and watermark it with your website. If you don’t, it’s all pointless. Of course don’t watermark pictures that you didn’t create or don’t have the rights to. You can also watermark with something other than your website. Any call to action you are trying to exploit will work — and work well!
Driving traffic with meme pics is one the top digital marketing strategies available.
First step is easy:
1. Find a trending search and make light of it. Think of a joke to write on a funny picture. Hurry though. Time is everything when it comes to driving traffic with meme pics.
2. Write blog post. Include your meme pic in your blog post the way I am here. Post links to your blog all around social media and message boards, and that’s all there is to it.
3. Promote it. This step is the most time-consuming but at least it’s all free. Here we go: Send a link to your website to all your email subscribers. Online news giants who publish their story (which is almost always “spun”), always have message boards where you can leave comments. You MUST definitely take advantage of. It means you will have to register with them. I know it’s annoying and time consuming, but you should by all means do so. reddit, imgur and similar sites are ideal places to post.
Let’s talk about the last two parts of my Left Shark traffic saga that has made life so fricken #pawsome I can’t even tell you. Katy Perry had been getting a bit rattled over the fact that a dancer in a shark suit stole the show from her. Someone started selling 3D print-on-demand Left Shark statues. Lawyers issued him a cease and desist letter and it made big news. Argument was briefly over who owns the intellectual property rights to the shark — the designer of the suit, or Katy Perry? The statues were pulled off the virtual shelves but not at a cost. Katy Perry began losing face in many people’s opinions because it appeared like she was jealous and cheap. The Scumbag Steve hat made it on to her in a couple of memes and so her lawyers pulled back a bit on the Left Shark enforcement circuit.
Fast forward to early March 2013, Katy Perry announces that she has a Left Shark suit for sale and it retails for an eye-popping $129.00 ( =①ω①=)
Guess what? Even more traffic is coming my way! WONDERFUL!!… If you were here, I’d want to give you a High FIVE — LoL Cat Research style — no JIVE. It would look something like this: ~(=^‥^)ノヽ(^‥^=ゞ)
OK let’s get serious. I checked my site’s traffic and this is what I see:
See that blast at the end? That comes almost entirely from me posting on CNBC’s message board. Here is the exact post:
If you look at the way I phrased my post, I made sure to be engaging while self-promoting in a way that doesn’t over do it. Last think you want is to get kicked-off a site for being a spammer. That’s why I try to make my posts rhyme, contain a joke, or just be completely ridiculous. Also make sure you’re not racist or sexist, homophobic or some type of extremist. In other words, don’t be a dick. If you are the strategy will fail. Think of this like a virtual office. You wouldn’t go into work, flirt with the secretary, curse-out your boss, and slap a bumper sticker with your logo on the side of the water cooler, would you?
All I can tell you is this: you can find your self getting reciprocal traffic in very little time. Also, if searches for what you made your meme pic about continues, waves of traffic back to you will follow. I hope my Left Shark story provides enough truth in value of driving traffic with meme pics. But you know what?
That traffic was yesterday.
Yes. We got to keep our eyes on driving traffic today. So what I did just before writing this, was the formula for driving traffic with meme pics: I used GoogleTrends to find a top search that was relative to my cute cats and comedy genre. It wasn’t long before I found crazy cat Kanye West was getting tons of searches. The traffice spike eminated from the release of his new song All Day.
I’ve gotten traffic from Kanye’s stunts and craziness several times in the past. I felt I should no more about the current news, so I listened to the track and thought it wasn’t bad. The beat is really great in an evil, hip hop kind of way. On the other hand, what he talks about in the song mostly belongs to the absurdly ridiculous category. Maybe I’m wrong, but really… I am not!
So anyway, I was having trouble coming up with anything to say, so I decided to go after traffic using a formulaic meme combo technique. Behold the masterpiece that will bring traffic to my blog for years to come:
More and examples and monetization techniques plus much more are included in my free eBook Making Money with Meme Marketing. Only $1.00 or FREE when you subscribe to the LoL Cat Research weekly newsletter. Send an email with the subject line “Making Money with Meme Marketing” to LoLCatResearch@gmail.com RIGHT NOW!!!
The New York high school senior whose ’80s-style laser portrait along with his cat became a web phenomenon has died of apparent suicide.
The parents of Draven Rodriguez, 17, of Schenectady, told the changing times Union that he died at home. Cause of death is suicide.
Rodriguez’s senior photo journeyed viral after he was adamant on having his rescue cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, be included with him in his yearbook photo. The intention was not to create any kind controversy, Rodriguez said. Somewhat, he just wanted to become different.
“I really wanted to be remembered and this is kind of my last chance in the area before I move on to college and hopefully do great things with my life,” Rodriguez told ABC News in the time the photo. “I want people to remember my personality and not just my face.”
Working with Schenectady-based photographer Vincent Giordano, Rodriguez created an intentionally cheesy, laser-streaked portrait of himself holding Mr. Bigglesworth, a long, bushy stray cat who’d gotten into the family home and never left.
Anticipating resistance from the school to his desire to have it included among the senior class’ formal portraits, Rodriguez posted the photo online to garner support. It blazed around the Internet and was mentioned by Jimmy Fallon in a “Tonight Show” monologue and by talk-show host Ellen Degenerees.
Regardless of the school initially giving Rodriguez flak for wanting his feline friend within the photo, the student launched an online petition to realize support for his endeavor. That petition garnered greater than 7, 500 signatures. University officials eventually relented, provided that the school principal, Diane Wilkinson, could bring her own pet Chihuahua to the woman photo shoot. Rodriguez and Wilkinson posed together with their furry friends in one photo for the classes year book, complete using a note about a trigger dear to both advisors: rescue animals.
“He’s a great kid and I needed to support him even far more,” Wilkinson told ABC News last fall. Friends and family of Rodriguez say he went out of his way to make friends with people from all corners of the country – both online and off – via youth-leadership conferences and just around his hometown.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people in the United States. LoL Cat Research published an earlier post on how Toxoplasma Gondii infections result in higher suicide rates. It’s shocking to realize that parasites could be the cause behind many suicides… This is why the government needs to provide more funds for scientific research. Finding a cure is many years away, but with the suicide rate increasing as much as 16% over the past two decades, we can all agree that more must be done to not just prevent, but to understand what causes suicide.
Laser Cat’s magnitude
Having a picture like Laser Cat go viral is by no means easy. Take it from LoL Cat Research, creators of scores of meme masterpieces that have gotten some attention, but nothing like this. The kid knew how to rock it. He could’ve been a successful marketing brand creator, or perhaps a politician. It seems like the sky was the limit and the future was bright as can be.
Draven Rodriguez was interviewed on The Sean and Richie Show (107.7 WGNA – Today’s Country [SEE VIDEO BELOW]). When he tells his story, he seems to be in such great spirits. It’s so sad that he is no longer with us. “He had an empathy for the world and for other people that I think is rare in kids his age,” his dad, Jonathan Stewart, told the Times Union. “It was wonderful to see.”
We all know the feeling of what it’s like to watch the Grumpy Grammy Awards, or any awards show for that matter, only to watch someone win who really shouldn’t have. The most well know example of this is Kanye West drinking champagne and then jumping on stage to confront Taylor Swift and declare Beyonce as having one of the greatest videos of all time… OF ALL TIME! This has been discussed numerous times on this blog, most for the reason that it’s too damn funny. Now that I think about it, I’ll get into that more later. For now, we will talk about Prince presenting a Grammy and then visibly showing disgust. LoL Cat Research thinks this is fricken #pawesome
So as I said, Kanye has made the boldest move when it comes to beefing about his choice missing the nod. For that, we will shift out attention over to his heroics and away from the said Grumpy Grammy Awards. I don’t like autotune music or anything else Kanye does in the music biz for that matter, but I also admit that I haven’t listened to much of it. I do take note of the fact that he is one of the most famous people on the planet and that is great. Only thing is, I’m a God fearing religious phanatic and
I HATE ALL ILLUMINATI SELLOUTS.
If that’s you Kanye, you better hope Hell is not real cause if it is:
YOU ARE GOING!
Anyway, I think it’s pretty funny that if you google “Kanye Cat” you get a lot of funny pictures. It appears both Kanye and Kim Kardashian are cat people. I was going to post a whole bunch of pictures of them with cats, but I’ll save that for a future posting.
So I’m reduced to shamelessly trying to get traffic off of whatever’s clever. Right now it’s the modification of the kids’ game “Kill the Carrier” AKA American Football.
My favorite player in the NFL right now is the top cornerback who swatted away a pass to ensure the Seattle Seahawks would make it to the big game for the second consecutive year. His wife is due on the same day and I’m hoping he plays football instead of going to the hospital. Call it Superbowl Son Day… Get it? Nafsht.
Now let’s talk about what this picture refers to. Tom Brady complained after a loss that his footballs were slightly deflated and the media pounced on the opportunity to make ball jokes. LoL Cat Research is going the same thing right here! Giselle is one of the top models in the world and also one of the highest paid celebrities. She complained about her husband’s teammates after the NY Giants defeated the #brady & the New England Patriots in Superbowl XLVI. I’m from Brooklyn and my cousin Mikey Palms had his bachelor’s party during the Superbowl so I’m really glad the Patriots lost that day and the Giants won. Anyway, Because Giselle Bundchen is so incredibly famous and attractive, her complaints made instant news after the game, which is wrong. Why listen to her?
Tom Brady is one of the top quarterbacks in NFL history. That cannot be denied. He is a major trashtalker and dissed Richard Sherman — an underdog, round 5 draft pick who rose to superstardom with his high-energy defense. Sherman tipped-away a Brady pass that turned out to be the decisive play. Sherman confronted Brady saying “You Mad Bro?”
It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but the media made a thing out of it and so did Sherman. He sells tee shirts saying “You Mad Bro?” on his website: richardsherman25.com
Sherman explains in this video what transpired:
DisclaimErr: I’m obviously a Seattle fan. I lived there during the late 1990s and have fond memories of the place. I really miss living there… The place is magical. Many stars have called the place home: Jimi Hendrix, Bill Gates, and now Richard Sherman. It’s the final resting place for Kurt Cobain and Bruce Lee. IT’S THE PLACE TO BE!!!
Happy Anniversary to me! I wasted tons of time trying to entertain you while learning a new skill and now it is clear that you are not entertained and you most likely did not learn anything either. That’s probably because most of you don’t know I exist. This is my fault because I can’t obtain any traffic to this site no matter what I do. For this reason I am going to seek employment driving a Swift Truck. If you’re not too swift as a cat blogger, you might as well be a Swift Truck driver. Nafsht.
Trucking pays great money. If you ever want employment and find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile, you will do better than most. It can work for you… trust me. My uncle Noel is a retired truck driver and he has all kinds of cash. Problem with this cat right here is that he don’t have a motherf*cking driver’s license, so there’s no choice but to get busy cat blogging.
Stop look & listen:
I don’t need a Swift Trucking job nor do I need to cat blog any longer. Here’s the alternative: I can find a magical white rabbit that I can sell for big bucks. Wait, your skeptical? Don’t think there’s a market for such a thing? Well you are wrong, grasshopper. Theres all types of retired hippy gangsters out there searching for that elusive white rabbit; and if you have the most unique, hardest to find, freak rabbit… you can be a champion! Victory is waiting — so how do you catch a unique rabbit? See the image below:
So what else is going on in cat blog world besides me not getting paid? I couldn’t tell you. That’s because I don’t have the time or money to find out. I’ve had a donation button up on my site since it’s inception and nobody contributed. I use emoticons on my 20+ tweets and tried to get a sponsorship from the site I get them from.
They just ignored me.
I could tell you which emoticon site it is, but why give them free press? They need to pay to get mentioned here. BTW, if anyone tries to steal my material, I”m going to sue them. So hit that donation button on the top right and pay me. Then come back in a week for more jokes that are free. After you get your free laugh, pay me. Aside from money, I want you to share what’s here with everyone you know so that I can be even more successful. Last thing anyone wants to do is post research results around the web for free and to add insult to injury, get zero likes on top it. So do the right thing and pay me while sharing this about. Peace.
Many assume that dogs can beat cats because they’re bigger. The opposite is true! Cats almost always win, often outsized, or even outnumbered, cats are still able to dominate. I put together a compilation of videos (all creative commons licensed so I don’t get sued by some insane dog owner) and I can’t even tell you how hard it was to find an instance where a dog beat a cat. See for yourself ＼(=^‥^)/’`
Lots of experts attempt to explain why cats are more popular than dogs online. Many will say in the Cats versus Dogs eternally epic battle, things like,
“… dog people are outside with their pets while cat people are indoors and therefore more likely to post about their cats while sitting in front of the computer…”
LoL Cat Research insight on cats vs dogs
My personal belief for the longest time was that google programmed their search algorithms to display results for cats when people were searching for porn — especially when parent filters were on. It makes sense when you think about it: Picture a random dirty old man finally learns how to use the internet and when nobody is around — he searches for “pussy”… Google gives him pussy cats — LoL!!! This was one of the reasons why I originally wanted to become a cat blogger: Cats get a shitload of traffic and traffic is what you need to make money. Still, everything mentioned this far is purely hypothetical. Let’s breakdown the real reason cats are more popular online:
Cat people outnumber dog people.
We all know there are just two sorts of individuals on the planet: cat people and dog people. Information from statistical surveying firm Euromonitor, recommend that these distinctions stretch out past individual inclination and to the domain of geopolitics: it so happens there are cat countries and dog countries, as well.
In the U.S.A., a greater number of families own puppies than own felines. Cool cats dwarf yippee-dippy-canines to the tune of about 4 million (so says the American Veterinary Medical Association’s evaluation). Why? One straightforward clarification is that felines are more minimal:
You can fit a greater number of kittens in a house than you can, say, pit bulls.
At the state level in the U.S.A., felines dwarf pooches in the Northeast and Upper Midwest. Mutts are the most loved in the South and Southwest. The most canine cordial state is Arkansas, where doggies dwarf the friendly felines 1.35-to-1. But who cares about Arkansas? If you ever saw the documentary, Bangin in Little Rock, you would know that those dogs are cray-cray. Bill Clinton was from there, but you don’t see him there now, you see him here in New York City.
On the other end of the spectrum stands Massachusetts with 1.87 felines for each canine. I guess Bean Town is feline town! When it comes to analyzing this kind of demographical data “A ton of that basically needs to do with populace thickness,” Jared koerten, a pet industry examiner at Euromonitor, said in a meeting. “Many cities simply aren’t that dog-accommodating.”
Worldwide, felines are the favored pet in the vast majority of Western Europe, except for Spain, Portugal and Ireland. South America is entirely puppy nation, as is much of Asia.
“A few districts, in the same way as the Middle East and piece of Africa, have an particularly long-standing energy about felines,” Koerten said. “in Latin America its the complete inverse. Pooches are a piece of family life there.”
March is Toxoplasmosis Awareness Month and Brazil is believed to have perhaps the highest infection rate in humans — a whopping 66% are believed to be infected. Toxoplasma Gondii is a parasite that gets into a mouses system when it feeds on cat turds.
The bacteria makes it way into the mouses brain, causing the mouse to become sexually aroused by the smell of cat urine.
It also dulls the mouse’s reflexes and causes it to become more reckless and make poor decisions — like the decision to find cats attractive!
This would all be great if T. Gondii only infected rodents. Unfortunately, any warmblooded mammal can become infected — including humans. The brain worms cause people to have an increased sex-drive while behaving erratically. One theory is that it can cause a person to take more chances while driving a car, which leads to more accidents, and subsequently more deaths.
Listen, this is supposed to be a funny blog — not a biology-based freakshow. For this reason, I went back to the past paragraph and inserted a gullible test. Did you catch it? OK, here it is:
March is NOT toxoplasmosis awareness month — I made that up!
The brain worm part is real and you can research that on your own. It’s disturbing, yet true that parasites can actually alter one’s thoughts and cause them to hallucinate or even commit suicide. Biologists joke that biology should be re-named, “parasitology,” since parasites outnumber free-living organisms by about four to one.
I just realized that humans could be seen as parasites in the eyes of other animals. Look at what we do with livestock. An animal is enslaved to work for us on the farm until the point that the point that they are slaughtered. How sad 🙁 that only until recently, we find out that other organisms do it to us!
It’s funny that toxoplasmosis would play very little roll in the cats versus dogs epic drama. It’s also surprising that Brazil isn’t more of cat country. Maybe the data is skewed or innacuate. Here’s an interesting video on Brazil and Toxoplasma Gandii:
Here’s even more info on toxoplasmosis.
Cat vs Dog info came mostly from spinning this article in the Washington Post.
You see them all over the internet. It started with cats but now it’s any kind of photo that evokes some sort of emotion. Add a witty caption and bang — you have urself a meme pic. If you search earlier posts in this here LoLCatResearch.com you’ll see that I do a full report on the cheezburger network and their CEO Ben Huh. And just in case you say “huh?” I been living under a rock and don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, I’ll give you the picture that started it all:
Whether or not it was first or one of the first is irrelevant. Point is, that Russian Blue kitty cat blew up the internet. It changed the lives a few men who recognized the viral aspect of the phenomenon and subsequently positioned themselves to reap the financial rewards of such a phenomenon. Nothing was the same after that. So what should WE do? Jump on the bandwagon is what we should do! So here is an easy content strategy:
Find a royalty free image
Use PhotoShop or Illustrator to add phrases over the picture (“Impact” font is most common)
* make sure and watermark the image with your website
Post it in a blog like this one. Then promote it everywhere possible. This is the most difficult leg of the journey. It’s the most time-consuming and involves changing your daily life to accommodate the requirements and responsibilities of digital marketing. It’s beyond the scope of this article to talk about image promotion. That we will reserve for the next post, which I should drop on your heads in about a week or two so stay tuned.
You may run into the problem of not having anything interesting to write on the picture. I did a search for “best jokes 2014” and looked for the shortest jokes listed since there’s a limited amount of text you can write on one image before kids or adults with ADD stop reading. Everything I’m talking about here took me 25 min to make. That water polo cat joke you see took the most time since I wasn’t finding much that inspired me. To tell you the truth, I don’t think the joke is all that funny and I would’ve liked to have spent more time finding something funnier. Too bad! It’s important to set realistic deadlines and make sure you stick to them.
Let’s look at some issues with all of this in more depth, cause I know you may be questioning what’s going on here as perhaps being too involved. How do you search for royalty free images? What do you do if you don’t have PhotoShop or Illustrator. What happens if I get sued by a crazy cat lady who says she owns the rights to my viral masterpiece?
I give you ANSWERS!!!
You can do a google image search by going to google and clicking on “images”, which is located in the top-right portion of your screen. Once there, click on the settings tab located on the bottom right of your screen. There you can edit search parameters so you can look for images that you can reuse. Click here and everything should be clear as day.
There are plenty of meme generators out there. They may say they’re free, but is anything really free? These generators always watermark their site on the bottom-right of the pic, right where you want to put your watermark! Other problem is that you have limited control over formatting the font, placement, etc. Some phrases simply don’t fit, or cover the image in an awkward way. Still, if you want to get in the game and you can’t wait any longer, I’ll give you the best free meme generator I could find out there: www.QuickMeme.com and you can thank me by donating on that side panel to your right.
OK let’s say you do everything right and your image goes viral. Traffic is coming your way and you’re also an expert on converting that into cash money. Success is your middle name while haters and bitches are sweating you for the true champion that you are. A certified letter arrives that you sign for. It’s a court subpoena that an attorney hit you with threatening to take everything you made. Think this doesn’t happen? It does. They come after you only if you have something to take. Instagram has billions and the girl you see in the image to your right blasted Suckerberg’s #2 cash cow with a $50 million lawsuit. Says the article, “16 Year Old Kiesha Johnson, of Birmingham Alabama, was just hanging with friends that took a bad picture of her and uploaded it to Instagram. Immediately, that photo went viral and was shared on Millions of profiles including celebrities. Everyone started mocking her now famous pose. “My face looked ugly like I was about to throw up.. I look nothing like that in real life… Im really a bad b*tch!” said Johnson.”
If you want to read more stories like that one, you can click here and thank me by contributing funds to our cause. Since we are on the subject of generating web traffic, I must say that every time I read an article, I post a comment with a link back to my site. It’s something each an every blogger should be rocking — whenever possible!
This article is most certainly not the first when it comes to using memes to create traffic. There are tons of great SEO resources at moz.com — especially when it comes to acquiring back-links to your site. Here’s an old article that is still worth reading. Click here for that and contribute by clicking up there to your right or by filling out the contact form and stating that you would like to contribute.
So trying to rank for “lol cats” is too difficult you say? Depends on how much time and dedication you have. Also crucial to the equation is how damn funny you are; at this here site we represent #cute #cats and #comedy & All that + staying true blue = FLAVOR. Can you taste it??? If you can then you’re good. If you can’t, Well… chew on this:
You Google “lol cat research” and you get:
Ok you don’t. I wish you got that but instead You get my facebook like page, which breaks my heart since I would rather my website was at the top of the list where currently it’s only second. It also bothers me since I hardly use Suckerberg’s platform at all. You know if you read my previous blog you will understand in great detail just how I’ve evolved into the facebook hater I am today. Still, the reality of it is, that if you want to build a brand and take over a piece of the internet for yourself these days: being a facebook user is a reality.
Today is my 1.5 year anniversary. In that time, the amount of traffic I generate has taken giant leaps and bounds. I have to admit there was a period of about four months where I did almost nothing with #lolcats so you can say 14 months of work is what I’m documenting for you here. Missing that four months had mostly to do with relationship issues, work hours (talking real work), anxiety, stress, depression, laziness, and procrastination. These aren’t excuses, they are REASONS why I didn’t do anything for such a long stretch. I’ve since righted these wrongs and that’s why you’re reading what I’m writing here. I won’t abandon you again… I PROMISE!!!
So back to what I was talking about before, I haven’t googled “lol cat research” (btw, you must keep it within quotes) for quite some time and it’s good to see that the search is all about me and my hand-skills. So right now we’re going to examine the anatomy of my takeover plot and how I rocked it for all y’all:
purchased the domain www.lolcatresearch.com
ran wordpress as my blogging platform
created as many social media accounts as possible under lolcatresearch
regularly post as @lolcatresearch on social media: especially twitter
post hashtag around interwebs #lolcatresearch when they won’t let me use a URL link to my site
made cat meme pics watermarked with LoLCatResearch.com and posted them on my blog, reddit, and elsewhere… my list is growing
All that’s very nice. Now let’s talk about what I have NOT done and here’s my biggest regret: It’s sad to say that I’ve never released a cat video. I have them, it’s just that I never get around to editing them to the point that they are releasable to the public.
Never wrote one press release 🙁 and it’s a damn shame. Me and my partner at hiptot.com have enjoyed considerable fame that was jumpstarted from well-written press releases. Journalists use them when they see that we have a live family event listed and they want to cover it. In other words, press releases generate press! That is what we want. Press. If it’s not what you want, you got serious problems… BELIEVE THAT!!!
Didn’t write an eBook. This is sad because I’m sure someone is writing the exact same book I should’ve written and if I see their’s come out first I’m going to hate on myself for too long. How can this be avoided… Hmm let me think. OK I got it — by writing an eBook! Getting it out by the holiday season is my new goal.
So here it is live and uncut. I did what was free and easy to do and now I will expand into more difficult content strategies. It will all work out in the end… LET’S HOPE!!! This will be the last post from me for at least a week so #HappyHalloween !!! I outlined what I did and didn’t do and now I give you some words of advice for those of you who want to be like me:
Get your cat to put on a costume while you film him/her. Post the video and watch it go viral. That’s what someone did here:
Our longtime pal DJ Sky Breaks who resides in Brooklyn has a
rescue kitten in need of a home!
Look what mama feral brought to me! This here “Ginger Boy” is about four weeks old and will be ready for adoption in 3-4 weeks (Sky Breaks and company is currently bottle feeding him). He is super sweet and healthy and needs a home. Please take him since we all have enough cats or if you know anyone looking for a great family pet — orange tabbies are the best!!!!!
For the longest time, LoL Cat Research been pushing the idea of saving cats from senseless euthanasia. What better way to do that than through adoption? Don’t delay… call today! 347_813_1396 or email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
You can adopt this cat even if you don’t like cats. That’s right… listen here: Let’s say you’re a dog that hates cats since you’re allergic or they look demonic, or whatever your dumb-ass issue is. You’d put your minor issues aside when it comes to making money, true?
YES YOU WOULD. Just like you show up to the office every day and deal with that micromanaging megalomaniac boss of yours in the name of earning a living, you can work with a cat who can bring in $tupid cash son.
The following is an example of a cute, famous orange tabby out there:
As you can see, this kitty is cute, but he/she lacks the blue eyes that our magical Ginger Boy boasts. So how do you make money you ask? You get headshots and get a casting agent. First you do movies and then you do commercials in whichever particular order you think will work.
Just imagine how great you’ll feel when you cash your first check and go out to celebrate. You’ll be sipping your favorite beverage at the bar when a potential life partner/soul mate will ask “so, you come here often?”
Best way to respond is by saying, “yeah, I’m from around these here parts. I’m going nowhere fast yet I’m here to represent.” The attractive and intelligent potential mate will laugh but soon the conversation will probably turn serious. That’s when you will really be sized-up. You can never repair a first impression so you damn sure better have a good answer for this:
“What do you do for a living?”
Now, if you stuh, stuh, studder motherfucker it’s all over. You got to be SUPER SMOOTH and in full-grip of the GROOVE. Take a deep breath and deliver the following:
“I make cats famous on the internet.”
Homegirl will be like, “what, like you’re a talent agent or a manager, or something??” Then you drop names immediately:
“I own ‘Ginger Boy’ the Cat.”
It’ll be easy from there on. Name all the TV shows, radio interviews, magazine articles, and cat blogs you’ve been on and your good to go. You now have a built-in reason to take this individual home with you and you can thank me for laying out the framework for your dumb ass. OK all kidding aside… Remember: we have a rescue kitten in need of a home. Adopt Ginger Boy today.
News Flash: as a direct result of our efforts here at LoL Cat Research, “Ginger Boy” has been adopted. The new owners changed his name to Lionel Richie.
Thanks for reading all of this,
PS: If you want to talk more about this, me and my business partner have a live family entertainment show tomorrow that’s totally free. See www.HipTot.com for more info.