Dr Who Cat
this freaken awesome!!! #lolcat #drwho #represent #meowisnow
this freaken awesome!!! #lolcat #drwho #represent #meowisnow
Internet Addiction Disorder is more commonly known as Problematic Internet Usage, which affects scores of fools online and to be quite honest, you must have a problem if you’re reading this right now. I mean let’s face it, you prolly have work to do — right? And let me guess, you’re not really addicted to the internet because you can quit anytime you want, right?
Whatever. I’m here to say that you don’t need to change, you just need to modify what you do. Being an addict has it’s benefits. It means you concentrate on something. What’s up with all these cats out there with ADHD? They can’t concentrate for nothing. But you as an internet addict can concentrate on the internet. THIS IS A GOOD THING!!!
See, my friends and family suffered for years because of the fact that I have way too much fun. Now, I’ve turned it all around by making the internet my main source of income. But you know, if the internet were to be gone tomorrow, I would be just fine. I’m saying this because I’m part of the last generation of last century left overs who remember the days before the internet. That’s right. Rotary phones, VCRs, pagers, that kind of technology.
Now I use a smartphone so much it made me stoopid. It’s so bad I can’t even spell anymore.
Still, I make stupid money online because I know how to rock it. I got serious in 2011 and it’s now September 2014. So if you can beat me in three years I’ll be impressed. For now, you need to get real though. You are an internet addict. According to this article in Wikipedia, the definition of Internet addiction disorder (IAD), is now more commonly called problematic internet use (PIU) or compulsive internet use (CIU). Other overlapping terms include internet overuse, problematic computer use or pathological computer use – and even iDisorder. These terms avoid the word addiction and are not limited to any single cause, but only reflect a general statement about excessive computer use that interferes with daily life.
Don’t be a victim of #InternetAddictionDisorder, learn how to turn your PIU into CIP (cash in pocket). Best way to do this is to follow me and learn from one of the top internet cat blogging work from home gurus. Learn to make money having fun. This is the key to making your life as worthwhile as possible but remember, it’s not easy and it’s going to take you 1-3 years depending on how much talent and skill you posses. If you’re really good and really dedicated, there’s no telling how much you can achieve. BELIEVE THAT!!!
Keeping it realer than ever,
PS: It is not my attention to make light of any addiction. If you suspect you may have a problem, seek help from a professional. For more information on this subject, check this article in the Huffington Post.
We will get to this but first, let me give you some background here. I never thought I would be into social media but it happened. From that moment on, there was no turning back. Racking up friends on MySpace was becoming an addiction. Checking out bands’ pages and occasionally friending and talking to strangers… It was my idea of a good time but after about a year of it, I lost interest and wanted my old life back. I began going out more and being social and happiness followed. Newscorp bought MySpace for $400 million and I thought they got a bargain.
Surely the company with all its users had to be worth more. But people left MySpace since a very right-winged conservative (owner of NewsCorp is Rupert Murdoch) purchased it and MySpace’s user-base was made-up mostly of stoner musicians and rebellious kids. They don’t want to have anything to do with the type of right-wing conservative business man that is responsible for Fox News. Moreover, Facebook was catching fire. Everybody just went over to that site. Facebook was clean, MySpace was creepy and now… compromised.
Microsoft decided social media wasn’t going away back in 2007 and made an offer Mark Suckerberg could not refuse: $240 million for less than 2%. It seemed like way too much money at the time, but now it’s clear that was a great deal for Microsoft. Geekwire reports:
It was a modest amount in the scheme of things — a $240 million investment by Microsoft in Facebook in 2007, valuing the social network at $15 billion at the time, and giving the Redmond company a 1.6 percent stake in Facebook.
Ok, we know what happens next. Facebook increased to over a billion users worldwide and the rest is history. Steve Ballmer’s initial investment increased his networth and in case you didn’t know, when my man makes a lot of money, he publicly goes nuts:
But do you need social media to make money online? YOU DO NOT! There are plenty of people who’ve proven this to be the case. However, if you want to be a successful cat blogger, you really DO need to build a social media following. One of the most common questions about this is “should I use all of social media?” and the answer is NO. The answer is simple:
Your life will be too lame.
Another problems is that you will spread yourself too thin. You have to choose two or three to roll with. In case you don’t know what the purpose is of each individual platform, check the funny-assed infographic… it says it all:
When I was a child way back in the last century, I’ll tell you about a new amazing technology that would change the entertainment industry forever. All of a sudden you could see movies without going to the theatre or watching them on TV years after they were released. You could now watch them at home on one of two devices: VHS or Betamax.
Deciding whether your family should get a VCR or Beta was a hot topic of debate. Beta was better quality but the tapes were larger. They were also harder to find. I was saying we should roll with VHS and the first two movies we rented were Revenge of the Nerds and Repo Man. I was glad we chose correctly since within a couple of years, no movie rental stores had Betamax tapes to rent. If you bought that machine you would’ve been screwed.
Now we’re living in a time where there are tons of social media platforms. You have to choose which ones you are going to rock and which ones you think suck moose cock.
They don’t show what you post to all of your friends. They limit it. Turns out FB needed to figure out how to monetize their site, so they came up with the solution that they would sandbox you unless you pay. Of course if you’re a celebrity or an Illuminati sell-out they’ll exempt you… but we’re not interesting in booty-kissing Lucifer just to be big on the #2 website in the world (at least I’m not).
Lets look at a typical disgracebook scenario: You spent all this time building up your profile, but it’s in vein since now they want you to pay to boost your posts. What malarchy. I’ve paid a few times and it didn’t change much. They say they’re going to show your post to thousands of people but they’re just sending it to click farms where nobody cares.
DON’T PAY THEM JACK!
Facebook sucks and they will take your money with no remorse. Remember: You spend time on FB, you’re just making Suckerberg richer. He’s not your friend. Worse yet, he wants YOU to PAY him for you to reach your friends on his platform. Still, that’s not my biggest problem with it. The beef has to do with my knowledge as a businessman. You ready for what I say is wrong? Drum roll please:
FACEBOOK LIKES ARE WORTHLESS AND YOU CAN’T SELL YOUR ACCOUNT.
Alarmed by the fact that teenagers are leaving Facebook in droves, Suckerberg hatched a better plan: buy other social media sites. Instagram for $4bn. What’sApp for $6bn. He’ll buy everything in site so that when you jump to the next one, he’ll own it. But guess what?
I don’t do Facebook, Insta, or What’sApp.
Instead I roll with what Suckerberg can’t afford to buy. Yep, with all the money he has, he can’t buy Google+ or Twitter and that’s why I rock. Google + is gaining traction as of late. At first I was hating on them since I felt like they were really giving me more work to do. Why did they have to go into social media? Why couldn’t they just stick with what they had: the most useful tech company in the world to date? That should’ve been enough. Ok, so I got over the hate and started using them. Why? Because when you post something on G+, it becomes searchable in google’s search engine and all the others (as far as I know). This is not true for the other platforms. You post something in facebook or twitter, only registered users can see it…
Pinterest is a good one. The pictures are incredibly interesting and it’s way more fun to search a topic in Pinterest than it is to do a google image search, although I still find myself doing that lots. The site’s user-base is about 90% female so this is something important to keep in mind if you are a golf blogger since you probably wouldn’t want to waste your time here.
Foursquare is good if you want people to know where to find you. A good friend of mine is a DJ and always has the problem of having to explain to everyone where she is DJing since she does a lot of gigs. She used to be able to just post it on Facebook, but since they changed it that doesn’t work anymore. Her foursquare app on her smart phone keeps her location public to everyone who is looking for her.
Twitter is my fave. You can look through lots of posts, pictures, videos and see what the latest news in the world is simply by adding a hashtag to the beginning of the word you are searching. Twitter followers are worth about $2 each, so if you sell your cat blog, you can sell your Twitter account with it and there will be a financial gain. Can’t say that the same way when it comes to the other platforms except maybe for YouTube. That’s because if your vids are getting shitloads of hits, you would have to say that’s worth more… albeit, if you are starring in your own videos, you can’t sell your account because you would still have to be in the vids yourself…
When I say twitter followers are worth $2 each, I may be exaggerating but there is a pending trial involving a social media marketer who left a company and took his accounts with him. The amount his employer is suing for values each twitter follower at $2.75 each.
PhoneDog sued Kravitz for a whopping $340,000, in effect saying that he wasn’t entitled to his Twitter followers—because he’d gained the following while working for PhoneDog. The amount was determined by valuing each follower at $2.50 per month, and multiplying $2.50 x 8 months x 17,000, totaling $340K. Time article published
Jan. 04, 2012
This was an old article and lawyers can really exaggerate costs while filing lawsuits no doubt. It’s one of the reasons why I never became a lawyer. Anyway, you can login to your twitter account and then open a new window and then go to the website: twalue.com
Next time we’ll go into more depth about how to use the platform and why twitter for cat bloggers is the way to go. For now, I’m saying Twitter will beat Facebook. I’m calling it now: August 19th 2014. My word is my bond. Represent Brooklyn,
Snoop Doggy Dog has gots to be one of the coolest cats of all time. But what if he never made it as a Hip Hop icon? He would prolly try to work from home via cat blogging. Believe dat… beotch. Actually don’t believe it. He’d be more into something having to do with dogs. Chiggity check that. The Dog Father has a new monicker: Snoop Lion
There’s enough cat action and cat humor out there to fill the pages of the largest book. On top of that they have a plethora of magical powers. What animal besides cats can look so cute and so fierce at the same time? They also save humans from critters that invade our homes. I represent Brooklyn and believe you me, there are rodents in every apartment building round these here parts. Cats make it so they invade the apartments of New York City dog lovers. Not my problem.
Wherever humans can be found on the planet, you can find cats somewhere close. Because of their popularity, cats are an excellent subject for blogging. A monetized blog about cats may prove lucrative, since it will be easy to attract an audience of cat lovers. All it takes is marketing the blog so that people know it’s out there offering content that is cat-rich.
I paid a professional writer $5 for the block quote you just read. That’s how dedicated I am to this field. Over the course of countless hours, I’ve become a top expert in the field, but by no means am I the best. You want good? Take this #gangnumstyle parody interview by Ben Huh, CEO of Cheezburger Network, widely-regarded as the top cat blog of all time. You make think the guy is a tool but hey, it’s not like he’s trying to break into the soap opera business. He says his goal is to make people laugh for five minutes a day. Nothing wrong with that!
Cats do so many funny and ridiculous things that content about their actions should be plentiful. Narrowing down the cat blog to a specific niche might also prove very sensible. I do cats and comedy. You can copy me (I’ll hate you though), or check out the competition by doing a Google search and reading the content of blogs that rank high on the search. Try to deviate from their niche, so that you aren’t creating duplicate content.
Buy your own domain and get hosting from godaddy. First do a search engine for “godaddy promo code” and see if there are any sales. I just checked… as we speak, they are doing a sale where domains are $1.99 where they usually go for about $8.50 – $10.00!
Make sure you go for a .com and not anything else. There are people who make video-heavy sites and use the .tv with
success but I firmly believe you should just try and get your brand name in a .com and the rest will work itself out. Don’t just use a free blogging site like blogger. They will own you. You need to own a piece of digital real estate so you MUST purchase a domain and get your own site running. Don’t cry to me about how it’s too annoying or time consuming. This is why it’s valuable. Besides, I’m here to hold your hand through the toughest part of it — getting started.
So after you’ve chosen names you want to use for your blog (or company that will have an online presence), you have to:
Go to godaddy.com and there will be a field for you to type in the domain you are looking to purchase. The reason why I say use godaddy is because they hire Americans to do customer award winning, 24-7 customer support. When your site crashes, the last thing you want to do is be talking to someone from Bangalore who will not understand you. Not to mention you are destroying the U.S. A. economy every time you support businesses that outsource their labor. Also make sure you never buy anything from Walmart… Don’t get me started.
Once you have your domain and hosting purchased (should be a combined priced of $50-$100) you are ready to begin. Call (800) go-daddy and get tech support to walk you through
Don’t waste too much time trying to do these two things on your own if you’ve never done it. They will easily guide you through the process. The hardest thing to do is get started. The rest is much easier.
Create original posts on a regular basis. Once a weeks is the way to go. After it’s up, email your friends, family, and everyone else. Email contacts are by far the most important way for you to reach people since people are way more likely to look through their inbox then they are to follow something on social media. Still, FB, twitter, and list serves, forums, and anything else you can think of to promote your article is the way to go.
Once you’ve promoted yourself in every way that I’ve mentioned, go to fiverr.com and type in their search box:
Set up an account and pay someone $5 to promote your article. Make sure they have a good rating on fiverr since you don’t want any “black hat” type of promotion that could hurt you in the eyes of the google gods who control your destiny online.
Last but not least:
You will not get results at first. Only have steady dedicated quality content uploading and promotion will you gain traction. You have to build an audience and earn trust before results follow. If it were easy, everyone in Nigeria would do it. This here is real talk.
The people who succeed are the ones who deal with repeated failure. There endurance finally pays off when they get there big break. After that they talk about the good old days and how it was hard, but they never gave up… How bout being one of those mothers by copying LoL Cat Research?! If you do well as our competitor, you can contribute a handsome some to FCAR (Feral Cats Against Rats), our nonprofit aimed at saving cats from euthanasia by releasing them in areas where there are rat infestations.
Anyway, if you know you’re a quitter, consider going into the biz with a partner. Or make an exchange with someone where you do there work and they do yours. You meet once a week for coffee and you know you better meet the deadline or your friend will hate you.
Lol Cat Research Chief Editor and #catblogger
represent, represent, respresent. that’s how i do blogging kitty cats style posted by the homeless of uber wealthy new york city. being homeless in the empire means breaking the law. there are now quarter houses for those without enough money to keep up with the joneses, and keeping up with the joneses means gaining wealth. how do you gain wealth? by exploiting people!
getting behind a computer is quite often a difficult task for the homeless and that is why lol cat research needs your financial support.
lol cat research asks for donations to save NY’s homeless. there is button to your right that you could click on to donate money.
but you don’t want to…
that’s because the interweb is broke ass. just like your DUMB ass. that’s right bitch. you suck. i haven’t gotten one MOTHERFUCKING DONATION in the whole year that i’ve been doing this.
you like the funny jokes here. you like the cute cats. but you no wanna pay, true? you like everything for free, don’t you bitch? FUCK YOU. pay me. i make you laugh. give me fifty cents. fifty GOD DAMNED cents because i’m a 40 year old homeless man who entertains your DUMB ASS on the interweb and you never give me shit. click on that fucking button. you fuckhead or never look at my free comedy again. i’m sick of this bullshit. pay me already you cheap bitch.
There is a famous episode of the hit show “South Park” where the best joke of all time is written. A male must be asked:
joke teller: “you like fishsticks?”
joke teller: “you like fishsticks in your mouth?”
victime: “uh, sure…”
joke teller: “you’re a gay fish!”
This could not possibly be the best joke ever made, but I think the guys at South Park are making a mockery of the fact that if you google “greatest joke of all time”, you’ll get similar mediocre, or lame, immature jokes of this caliber.
People like this fish sticks joke and it starts going viral to the point that the South Park kids are on late night TV and what have you. Problem is, Kanye West does not get the joke and he starts making people pay via the use of physical violence and even murder.
Kanye does not find it fair that he doesn’t get the joke being that he is one of the greatest thinkers of his generation. His unchecked arrogance is brilliantly ridiculed by the writers and producers of one of the longest running cartoons in the history of mankind.
As a comedy cat blogger, I am hoping people will look at that image, laugh, pass it on, and click on this here website. This site just wants to be loved, is that so wrong? Maybe Kanye will sue me. That would probably be much funnier than the fish stick joke being that i have no attachable assets for his lawyers to take off me.
If I had gotten a bank loan six years ago, I could’ve been famous for being a NINJA.
So sue me. I’ll laugh (but not all the way to the bank). Maybe they should sue Wikipedia for breaking it down even more in this article. They talk about how after Kanye got drunk and interrupted Taylor Swift’s VMA moment.
Enough already — The Kanye Cat picture is hitting cyberspace… MEOW IS NOW!!!