GRANDE DONUT CARE

So I’m looking how to get traffic and what better way than with a Ariana Grande meme. It’s been a couple of weeks since I scored big off of the Bruce Jenner’s cat meme fiasco. Here’s how my traffic is looking meow:

LoL Cat Research traffic snapshot July 2015

 

As you can see, traffic needs a boost from another one of my killer memes, so I hit google trends looking for something to make light of.

Ariana Grande donut memeAriana Grande had been caught on a security camera licking a donut and then getting upset at an employee saying “I don’t like Americans.” or something to that affect.

You would think it’s no big deal, but apparently it is and now for whatever reason, she’s no headlining at the Major League Baseball All Star Game in Cincinnati in a few days.

I personally don’t see the big deal. It is a little gross that she licked a donut that someone would unsuspectingly eat. Thank God she’s not an outlaw biker with an open sore or something, but then again — she’s with her boyfriend and she’s all kissy kissy with that fool. Surely there shouldn’t be any criminal charges and everyone should leave Britney alone. Everyone except LoL Cat Research!

I’m going to push the pic on reddit, cheezburger, twitter, facebook, and maybe that’s about it. Then I will use the demotivational version after a few days. Hopefully that will get this forsaken blog some more traffic already.

Grande donut demotivational original lol cat research meme

(^._.^)ノ what to do when you reach 3k tweets

I’ve blogged about twitter a number of times, discussing tactics and strategies that I’ve used or thought about using… Right here we’re going to go through a method I use when I maximize engagements — which ultimately lead to making money online. The better you build your network, the more money you will make. What we’re talking about here is not difficult, but like the great Warren Buffet said, “It is not necessary to do extraordinary things to get extraordinary results.”

twitter account screen shot May 18th 2015
saw that I made 2,999 tweets… time to take action!

I saw that my twitter account had 2,999 tweets. Why not celebrate the milestone of 3k tweets?! Twitter now offers analytics that are readily available. I used to use topsy.com — actually I still do, but when I’m just checking basic stats, twitter has it laid out right there for you. By the month, I can see my most influential follower, tweet with the most engagements, and much more.

I noticed many times the tweet that thanks followers garners the most from the twitter Gods. Tweet this:

TomHanks 4D #follow [mention as many followers as you can]
Make sure and include a picture of Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks looks like “Thanks” or you can say T.Hanks

Tom Hanks 4d follow screen shot for cat blog LoL Cat Research

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This kind of tweet is also great when you are starting out. It get’s favorites and RTs like crazy.

So I see that I’m going to post my three thousandth tweet and I made a meme for it, mentioned all of my friends and top-followers on twitter, and unleashed this masterpiece:

LoL Cat Research 3k tweets

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I pushed another URL I purchased that may be better than my main brand, “LoL Cat Research”… Not sure if that’s the way to go, but sometimes you just have to freak shit.

I mentioned as many twitter handles as I could and then in the tagging section for the picture, I mentioned as many heads as I could there. Looks like this:

mention as many accounts as you can when you tag people Stoned Soul | Hip Tot | John McGill Banned | Lordz

 

 

Google “lol cat research” and what do you get? PART 1

So trying to rank for “lol cats” is too difficult you say? Depends on how much time and dedication you have. Also crucial to the equation is how damn funny you are; at this here site we represent #cute #cats and #comedy & All that + staying true blue = FLAVOR. Can you taste it??? If you can then you’re good. If you can’t, Well… chew on this:

You Google “lol cat research” and you get:

www.lolcatresearch.com

Ok you don’t. I wish you got that but instead You get my facebook like page, which breaks my heart since I would rather my website was at the top of the list where currently it’s only second. It also bothers me since I hardly use Suckerberg’s platform at all. You know if you read my previous blog you will understand in great detail just how I’ve evolved into the facebook hater I am today. Still, the reality of it is, that if you want to build a brand and take over a piece of the internet for yourself these days: being a facebook user is a reality.

lol cat research loves this leaping cat
LoL Cat Research web traffic abounding!  (^._.^)ノ

Today is my 1.5 year anniversary. In that time, the amount of traffic I generate has taken giant leaps and bounds. I have to admit there was a period of about four months where I did almost nothing with #lolcats  so you can say 14 months of work is what I’m documenting for you here. Missing that four months had mostly to do with relationship issues, work hours (talking real work), anxiety, stress, depression, laziness, and procrastination. These aren’t excuses, they are REASONS why I didn’t do anything for such a long stretch. I’ve since righted these wrongs and that’s why you’re reading what I’m writing here. I won’t abandon you again… I PROMISE!!!

So back to what I was talking about before, I haven’t googled “lol cat research” (btw, you must keep it within quotes) for quite some time and it’s good to see that the search is all about me and my hand-skills. So right now we’re going to examine the anatomy of my takeover plot and how I rocked it for all y’all:

  • purchased the domain www.lolcatresearch.com
  • ran wordpress as my blogging platform
  • created as many social media accounts as possible under lolcatresearch
  • regularly post as @lolcatresearch on social media: especially twitter
  • post hashtag around interwebs #lolcatresearch when they won’t let me use a URL link to my site
  • made cat meme pics watermarked with LoLCatResearch.com and posted them on my blog, reddit, and elsewhere… my list is growing

lol cat research thinks this is funny hahaAll that’s very nice. Now let’s talk about what I have NOT done and here’s my biggest regret: It’s sad to say that I’ve never released a cat video. I have them, it’s just that I never get around to editing them to the point that they are releasable to the public.

  1. Never wrote one press release 🙁 and it’s a damn shame. Me and my partner at hiptot.com have enjoyed considerable fame that was jumpstarted from well-written press releases. Journalists use them when they see that we have a live family event listed and they want to cover it. In other words, press releases generate press! That is what we want. Press. If it’s not what you want, you got serious problems… BELIEVE THAT!!!
  2. Didn’t write an eBook. This is sad because I’m sure someone is writing the exact same book I should’ve written and if I see their’s come out first I’m going to hate on myself for too long. How can this be avoided… Hmm let me think. OK I got it — by writing an eBook! Getting it out by the holiday season is my new goal.

So here it is live and uncut. I did what was free and easy to do and now I will expand into more difficult content strategies. It will all work out in the end… LET’S HOPE!!! This will be the last post from me for at least a week so #HappyHalloween !!! I outlined what I did and didn’t do and now I give you some words of advice for those of you who want to be like me:

Get your cat to put on a costume while you film him/her. Post the video and watch it go viral. That’s what someone did here:

 

 

 

 

kanye cat doesn’t like your joke

kanye cat likes fishsticks

Kanye Cat

There is a famous episode of the hit show “South Park” where the best joke of all time is written. A male must be asked:

joke teller: “you like fishsticks?”

victim: “yes”

joke teller: “you like fishsticks in your mouth?”

victime: “uh, sure…”

joke teller: “you’re a gay fish!”

This could not possibly be the best joke ever made, but I think the guys at South Park are making a mockery of the fact that if you google “greatest joke of all time”, you’ll get similar mediocre, or lame, immature jokes of this caliber.

People like this fish sticks joke and it starts going viral to the point that the South Park kids are on late night TV and what have you. Problem is, Kanye West does not get the joke and he starts making people pay via the use of physical violence and even murder.

Kanye does not find it fair that he doesn’t get the joke being that he is one of the greatest thinkers of his generation. His unchecked arrogance is brilliantly ridiculed by the writers and producers of one of the longest running cartoons in the history of mankind.

As a comedy cat blogger, I am hoping people will look at that image, laugh, pass it on, and click on this here website. This site just wants to be loved, is that so wrong? Maybe Kanye will sue me. That would probably be much funnier than the fish stick joke being that i have no attachable assets for his lawyers to take off me.

If I had gotten a bank loan six years ago, I could’ve been famous for being a NINJA.
No
Income
No
Job, or
Assets

So sue me. I’ll laugh (but not all the way to the bank). Maybe they should sue Wikipedia for breaking it down even more in this article. They talk about how after Kanye got drunk and interrupted Taylor Swift’s VMA moment.

Enough already — The Kanye Cat picture is hitting cyberspace… MEOW IS NOW!!!

cats beating children while parents film has people of the interweb demanding justice.

kitties vs kiddies

lol cat and infantA recent Huffington Post article shows tons of videos of lol cats attacking defenseless, innocent toddlers. Parents seeking fame and recognition in most cases refuse to intervene, allowing their children to be assaulted.

The curtain of laughter is most often the method used for these neglectful parents to live with their own behavior. The fact that they film the incidents only adds insult to injury. It’s one thing if they were too slow to respond. in such cases, one could almost forgive these parents and guardians in question for such “accidents”, and then to just stand there with the cameras still pointing–is unacceptable. We must demand justice.

Disclaimer: Lol Cat Research and the Hip Tot Music Fest are closely affiliated. You must know that demanding justice for infants and cats goes above all else.

Disclaimer #2: neither this blog or the Hip Tot has any affiliation or sponsorship deal of any sort with the Huffington Post, they just think that their animal videos are awesome.

lol cats attacking kids is wrong we say

Although top-notch journalism has brought LCR to the forefront of groundbreaking cultural pet entertainment, you should not take any of these words at face value. You should watch the freak video yourself and when a commercial comes on, you should turn down the volume, wait till it passes, and then turn the volume up to see the next video involving cats bullying dogs, cats knocking sh*t over, and more!

Peep it yo:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/28/cats-fight-kids-video_n_4681253.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

BTW, if you live in Brooklyn, be sure and check out the next Hip Tot Music Fest every second sunday at the Shapeshifter Lab.

audra rox band
Feb 9th 2014 at the Shapeshifter Lab check out hiptot.com for more info.